A pause, now, for some inevitable responses:

A community, even one dedicated to positivity, needs an enemy to define itself against. BuzzFeed's motto, the attitude that drives its success, is an explicit "No haters." The site is one of the leading voices of the moment, thriving in the online sharing economy, in which agreeability is popularity, and popularity is value. (Upworthy, the next iteration, has gone ahead and made its name out of the premise.)

- What did Dave Eggers ever do to you?

 - Surprise, a Gawker blogger who's never accomplished anything is jealous of Dave Eggers.

That's it. You're getting it. That's smarm.

Questions are e-mailed to the district’s public information office. The PI Officer determines who could best answer the question and directs the question to that person. Once the PIO receives the answer it is posted.

And who replied with a condensed smarm tantrum:

NOT ALL QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED. For individual or private concerns, you should contact the school or district office by phone. We will not answer comments about specific individuals by name.

- Dave Eggers has inspired more people and done more good than you could possibly dream of.

- Edward Snowden is an unstable, sensation-seeking narcissist.

A. We are currently looking for a way to make this process quicker. The issue with using a phone is they could sign in/out from anywhere. They do not necessarily have to even be at school. If anyone has ideas they should talk to the senior CAP, senior associate, or principal.

- Edward Snowden isn't telling us anything we don't already know.

A. The calendar is driven by BOCES, Board policy and contractual agreements. The days off for religious holidays have been based on the size of the population observing the holidays. At some point, with changing demographics and diversity in religions, it may be impractical to recognize any religious holiday.

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A. Per New York State, eight semesters of physical education is required in order to graduate. This goes for all students, regardless of whether or not you play an interscholastic sport.

Bullshit, Frankfurt wrote, was defined by the bullshitter's indifference to truth:

Everything you selected will also be removed from your lists.

Most importantly, remember that power is largely a matter of perception. If you want people to see you as a powerful brand, act like a credible leader. When you're thinking like brand You, you don't need org-chart authority to be a leader. The fact is you are a leader. You're leading you!

Snark is the expression of the alienated, of the ambitious, of the dispossessed.

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Take the following example, courtesy of the former Bush administration press secretary Ari Fleischer. You almost certainly have an opinion about Fleischer, but consider this purely as a matter of technique, how he frames a complaint as if his partisan credentials have nothing to do with it:

Here is Obama in 2012, wrapping up a presidential debate performance against Mitt Romney:

But mostly: ROTFL, motherfucker.

One curious fact about this long view is that it's quite untrue. I can't recall ever, unless compelled by duty, rereading a Malcolm Gladwell article. What I have reread is Mencken on the Scopes Trial, Hunter Thompson on Richard Nixon, and Dorothy Parker on most things—to say nothing of Orwell on poverty and Du Bois on racism, or David Foster Wallace on the existential horror of a leisure cruise. This belief that oblivion awaits the naysayers and the snarkers shouldn't survive a glance at the bookshelf.